It seems a bit ironic that in an age when fewer people are choosing marriage, certainly in a church, that people in same sex relationships are lobbying for it! The current debate seems to be more about perceived rights than a concern for what we would understand by marriage.

Between 1975 and 2008 the percentage of couples living together before marriage has risen from 16% to 77%. That is certainly reflected in my experience. In 2008 only 35% of couples chose to be married in a religious ceremony compared with 65% before a civil celebrant. Those brief statistics tell a story of the changing landscape of marriage in Australia. Where once there was an almost common understanding of marriage as a Christian religious act. Now that cannot be taken for granted any more. Ours is now a minority view.

It is also interesting to consider how different marriage is today compared to what it was in Jesus' day. In the Mediterranean world marriages were arranged by parents, and still are in some places. This is because marriage was not always, nor only, a love match made between individuals but a covenant between families and tribes. A marriage was for the social, economic and sometimes political advantages of families or communities or kingdoms. Today everyone believes they have a right to personal happiness that transcends the needs of family or community. In our Gospel today Joseph was torn between these two demands. He needed to uphold the honour of family and tribe which was paramount in that culture. But he also wanted to respect and protect Mary whom he loved.

Even though the translation of our Gospel today says Mary and Joseph were engaged actually they were betrothed which is very different. Children were betrothed to each other by their parents, often from a very young age. Betrothal meant they were legally married yet still lived with their parents not having sexual relations at all. If either were to have sexual relations with another person it was considered adultery. Adultery had a harsh penalty. Such was the situation that concerned Joseph.

For us the Sacrament of marriage is an expression of our belief that the love we aspire to is not only our personal love for each other but God's love for us first, and above all else. So when we debate whether the state should recognise same sex marriages in law we need to remember that people are often talking about different things. For us marriage is saying something about God not just about us.

The Australian bishops are asking us to petition our local Federal members of parliament on the issue of same sex marriages. A recent Federal parliament motion asked that members seek out the views of their constituents about same sex marriages. So the letter you are invited to sign asks the Australian parliament to "protect the unique institution of marriage as traditionally understood and actually lived as the complementary love between a man and a woman."

Whatever rights same sex couples may or should have in law it does not need to be at the expense of how marriage has been lived and understood for centuries. Otherwise the push for same sex marriage could be seen as just another attack on Christian marriage and on religious belief itself.

But is that not how it so often is? In the first few centuries after Christ the Church was a small minority religion. It was only with the coming of the Holy Roman Empire that Church and Empire became almost synonymous. To be a citizen of the Empire was to be a Christian. With that state of affairs now non existence we are once again one religion amongst many. It is harder for the Catholic voice to be heard.

What can we learn from the Gospel today? There is much symbolism in the story. Joseph as Matthew presents him in his Gospel is clearly reminiscent of the Joseph of the Exodus story whose brothers sold him into slavery. He too has a dream. He too goes to Egypt. And he too saves the family. In the same way King Herod is a reflection of the Egyptian Pharaoh. Both feel threatened and both kill the Hebrew male children only to have God, by an extraordinary twist, protect the life of the one who will go on to save the people. In both stories God is with the people. And Christmas comes each year to remind us that God is still Emmanuel.

Fr Graham